Thinking Traps and Catastrophizing (I started therapy #4)

 My therapist and I started talking about thinking traps. Thinking traps are literally what they sound like.

The type of thinking that traps you into thinking things that are not true!

Photo by Simran Sood on Unsplash

My therapist made me focus on 4 types of thinking traps:

catastrophizing, mind reading, discounting the positives, and fortune telling.

During therapy, I learned that I tend to catastrophize the most when it comes to work. I didn’t know the terminology but I had been doing this for a long time. I used to call myself a pessimist. I expect things to go wrong. I get in my head that tomorrow is going to be the worst day ever.

This kind of thinking is worst when it’s the day before my work.

I go to bed and I’m waking up every hour from 11pm to 4am. I guess I get nervous about what kind of day I’m going to have. I don’t feel anxious when I go to bed at 10pm. But when I wake up at 11pm, 12:15am, 1:23 am, 2:45am, 3:32am, and 4:45am and look at the clock… I feel so defeated. I realize then, “I guess I was anxious.” My body is giving into my mind’s anxiety and it’s disturbing my rest. The rest that is supposed to give me energy to get through an anxiety filled work day. It’s a vicious cycle.

The thoughts that come when I wake up are often the worst thoughts. Thoughts like, “What if I have really challenging patients? or family members? or doctors? What if I don’t know what to do? What if I don’t have enough staff on the floor and I have to do 2–3 people’s jobs?” I’m catastrophizing.

I used to defend this thought by saying things like, “By preparing my mind for the worst day possible, I am ready for anything.”

But, this is not the case.

I saw a video by one of my favorite Youtuber Jenn Im talk about this same exact thought process. I can’t find the video but what she basically said was by something like:

If you are anxious about something that hasn’t happened yet…

1. If something bad does happen, you’re anxious now and you’re anxious when it actually happens. So you’re going through anxiety twice!
2. If nothing bad happens, then you put yourself through unnecessary anxiety!

Photo by Mehrpouya H on Unsplash

So… why make yourself anxious twice or even that once!?

Catastrophizing literally drains me. Being constantly anxious is physically and emotionally tiring. The challenge is that I’ve been catastrophizing for so long that I don’t know how to undo this. My mind can’t resist the urge to catastrophize and before I know it I’m already doing it. The crazier thing is that in my head, I fully know that most days are better than how I anticipate it to be. But, even with this knowledge, I can’t stop catastrophizing.

The Plan

Learn strategies to decrease catastrophizing to decrease anxiety.